by thevagenda
It’s been a couple of weeks since Angelina Jolie revealed she’s had a double mastectomy, and the media furore has died down. The Daily Mail have found some other celebrity to define by her breasts; its writers have gone back to distractedly licking their own arses like bored, mangy cats. But a small number of women across the world, including me, […]
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by thevagenda
So the other day, I was watching The Apprentice (just for the lolz, not for the power-dressing tips). This can be a troubling experience for me, mostly because I have to deal with the fact that a man named Lord Sugar is actually not anything like Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory […]
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by thevagenda
The first time I had sex, I was completely hot for it. The guy in question brought about previously unknown adolescent urges, and Anchorman-style I wanted to be ON him. But, having read a lot of teen magazines, I knew our very first session might be a little less than magical so I was well […]
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by thevagenda
It is Wednesday night. All is silent. I am watching but not really paying attention to Tess of the D’Urbervilles. My flatmate has bought me a badge from a sex shop in Soho that says ‘fancy a tit wank?’ and I am internally debating how I feel about it, watching Eddie Redmayne’s head bobbing across the screen […]
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by thevagenda
I’m pretty sure everyone’s meant to be at least a little bit clever at university, somewhere on a healthy range between the more discerning pen-smellers and University Challenge contestants. I fervently believed this when I skipped off to an institution where people watched Question Time for fun. It’s the height of my intellectual […]
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by thevagenda
Yesterday, I was innocently filling my bottle up at the water fountain at work when one of the catering ladies – let’s call her Debbie – approached me with a photo of her ‘when she was fat’ (her words, not mine). Apart from the occasional ‘good morning’ and polite British small-talk about […]
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by thevagenda
Occasionally, I find myself in a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’, having to justify the pleasure I get from anal. Eventually, inevitably, someone will throw it out there, and then glare around the room, Leviticus-style, seeking the guilty blush of the anal deviant. I always sigh and sip my gin, resigning myself […]
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by thevagenda
‘Cheers for that, mate,’ The Customer says with an appreciative nod, as I pass him a bagel which – if I do say so myself – I have just put together expertly. Instead of telling him he’s welcome and wishing him a good day, however, I stand there silently seething because The Customer […]
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by thevagenda
I was born with a disability. I only have limited vision in one eye, and was born without irises, which makes it rather noticeable. Nevertheless, I’m fairly lucky in that having a disability doesn’t really affect my day-to-day life that much, apart from the fact that I am classified as too dangerous to drive a […]
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by thevagenda
Sitting on a budget flight to the South of France, I am leafing through an old copy of one of the UK’s many popular weekly magazines aimed at ladyfolk. My boyfriend, noting my lamentable choice of reading material, stares resolutely out of the window and turns up the music on his MP3 […]
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by thevagenda
When I went to pick up my pills for the first time, the woman at the pharmacy counter gave me a queer look. Frowning, she asked me to confirm my full name, address and date of birth. Once I’d nailed that test, she asked, “Are you picking up these tablets for someone else?” […]
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by thevagenda
There’s a lot of hate going round for Daisy Buchanan at the moment. As one particular example, a friend’s English teacher apparently told the class that Daisy had – and I quote – ‘no soul.’ Critics have described her as ‘frivolous’; ‘an empty vessel’; ‘an emptiness that we see curdling into the viciousness of […]
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